Chapter 9. Home Invasion

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Wood Elves, or Silth as they preferred to be called, were known for being a particularly hardy people.

Almost made of muscle and bone, even an untrained Sorie could potentially lift a small horse over her head.

It was due to their lack of curves and the amount of abdominal muscles, that humans and other races of elves often joked that Silth males and females were in fact one in the same, which commonly resulted in missing teeth and large amounts of property damage.

It is perhaps because of these traits that Silth carpenters were so often prised, as any piece of furniture or dwelling must be respectively sturdy to be able to handle a drunk Silth.

So any structure that is able to withstand the type of punishment a driven female Silth, who had been pounding the crap out of it with her fist for five minutes, deserves some applause.

“Open up you little shit. Got some hot lonely elf out here, aching for some fun.” Chin’era said as she battered Jessy’s door.

Another interesting fact about Silth besides their physical capabilities was their sensitive hearing.

A large gathering of nervous and curious onlookers were starting to surround Jessy’s bungalow, and what appeared to be a bald she-elf with no eyebrows propositioning a young blue haired boy in carnal activities.

A nearby guard, who looked to be unsure if he should just walk away and allow the crazy she-elf to continue her assault on the property, stepped forward. “Ma’am, what are you doing?”

What’s it look like I am doing?” Chin’era said not bothering to look at the armed and confused male Silth.

The solider watched as Chin’era took a step back and kicked Jessy’s door. “It appears as though you are trying break inside a Tech’s residence by pretending to whore yourself out to an under-aged boy.”

Chin’era kicked at the door again, “It’s good to know that not all of you are fucking idoits. Open. Up.”

Vanasher and twelve other female Silth, including a flustered Sorie, ran after the shouting alchemist, “Chin’era, stop that.” The Dean said while trying to avoid some of the worse muddy spots.

Chin’era only ceased her knocking when Jessy’s door swung open.

The Tech was wearing a white woolly robe and held a look of annoyance. Sorie noticed that water dripped from his blue hair.

Had his roof been leaking? If so why were whiffs of steam radiating of his body?

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Jessy shouted.

Chin’era didn’t give Jessy a second to think, using her superior strength she push the boy aside and entered the bungalow.

Jessy was about to complain when Vanasher and her squad of supporting female wizards, in pursuit of the rouge alchemist, pushed him aside again and flowed into Jessy’s home.

“Don’t worry. We’ll get her out” One of the female mages called out, she then followed the sentence with. “Ohh, it’s warm in here. Is that real leather? What’s that?”

Soire at least, was polite enough to give her one time lover a small bow before Bellymore’s new librarian invaded his home uninvited. “I’m sorry about this.” Sorie said, but it did not sound as if she were being entirely sincere.

Inside the bungalow, Vanasher and her invasion force were poking at everything.

Most of the mages were investigating what appeared to be a magic mirror on top of Jessy’s desk. Also it appeared as if one of their more talented members had unlocked the desk draws with her own iron fingernails. The lock had barely lasted two seconds against those tool-like digits.

One of the mages tapped at a strange device on Jessy’s desk, an odd tablet of some kind filled with glyphs. She tapped one glyph and jumped when the magic mirror came to life.

“A control device for the mirror.” The mage concluded and began to tap at the buttons to see the outcome, headless of the conclusion of activating a potentially disastrous artefact.

“He’s healthy, alright.” One Silth remarked as she located a collection of manuscripts with naked human women, who were positioning themselves in demeaning poses. Sorie noticed that the female on the cover was indeed human.

While the mages seemed more interested in the Jessy’s odd toys and reading material, Sorie’s attention was on the familiar and aggravated naked prostitute, who was currently climbing out of Jessy’s bed.

“What are you doing here?” Sorie said in indignation, she then turned her head to Jessy, who stepped back as if expecting to be attacked. “What is she doing here?”

Bancroft put her dress back on and muttered angrily, “I and my client were about to perform some business. Jessy, we will commence with your lesson some other time.”

Her dress and shoes on, Bancroft displayed no shame as she navigated through the Vanasher’s clique and towards the exit. As she passed Sorie, Bancroft raised her wrist and flaunted what looked to be a strange black armband. It was unclear what it was worth but the symbolism was clear.

The boy had given the prostitute the armband, meaning that he preferred her company, and Sorie seriously considered throwing a fireball in the whore’s ugly face.

Not paying attention to the exchange, Jessy looked as if he was about to cry, “Aww. Come on. Eh. Aww. Tch.”

His nonsensical babble failing him, Jessy was forced to what his nest conquest leave the room. He held his hand at the door as if he could push his will into bringing back Bancroft.

Bancroft gone, Jessy turned his frustration on Vanasher, “What the fuck? Owe. Why did you hit me?”

“Language.” Vanasher warned.

Jessy pointed at the door, “Out.”

Sorie stood in front of him, not looking in the least bit happy, “What did you, and that whore intend to do?”

Jessy looked at Sorie like she had grown an extra head, “You’re giving me shit? You accused me of date raping you, and then you’re pissed at me for sleeping with someone else? Is that elf thing, or is it just a you thing?”

The Silth was taken back, but quickly recovered. She barely noticed that the other mages were smiling at the strange couple.

Before Sorie could build up pressure for a shouting match, Chin’era pulled the clerk aside and confronted Jessy, “You two can have your lover’s spat later. I want a word.”

What? Did I accidentally step on your foot? Are you going to hit me with an assault charge?” Jessy grit his teeth. “It’s hardly been two hours and you’re pulling this crap? I’m warning you Vanasher, the first time was cute. This time I’m going to burn you. You have no idea the damage I can cause.”

The Dean looked more amused than terrified at this small boy’s rant, “I assure you, master Turbuskey. I have no interest in wedging myself in your life any further. I would recommend you be more careful of your choice in partners. Enya girls tend to be a little more cunning than a simple milkmaid.”

The platinum haired Silth gestured to Chin’era, “Chin’era here is my and your main focus.”

The bald elf was blunt, “I want some of that metal.”

“Ask my blue balls if I care what you want?” Jessy said pointing at his crotch.

The female Silth gasped at the young man’s choice of language. Chin’era, in the meanwhile nodded thoughtfully before she suddenly sent her hand into Jessy’s robe and squeezed something incredibly private.

The mages gasped more loudly now and two of their number actually laughed. Sorie’s mouth had dropped like a falling pot, and the clerk could only watch as the alchemist smiled sadistically as she had Jessy, literally by the balls.

Jessy was forced to lean on Chin’era and grit his teeth.

“Do your genitals care about about what I want, now?” Chin’era asked, twisting her wrist ever so slightly.

Jessy let out a cough, “You’re feelings have touched them very greatly. Okay. Okay. Uncle. Uncle.”

With a smile Chin’era let go of Jessy who landed on the ground, clutching at his manhood.

Vanasher stepped forward and glared at the bored alchemist whom she was having serious doubts about bringing to this excursion. Chin’era was completely out of control.

The silver haired elf picked Jessy up and went into an automatic apology, “Forgive me, milord. She does not speak for the Academy.”

“It’s fine.” Jessy groaned, “I was a bit of a dick.” he took in a deep breath. “Just, let me put on some pants.”

Having retrieved some of his clothes from a set of draws, Jessy went into the adjacent room which it turned out was actually an inside outhouse. Its presence explained why the Tech had never gone outside to relieve himself.

The moment the door closed, Vanasher turned on Chin’era as did the other females.

“You disapprove of my methods?” Chin’era provoked.

“I would like for you not to have caused a diplomatic incident.” Vanasher said her soft, dangerously soft. The Academy’s Dean was displeased and for good reason.

“What if he goes back and tells his elders how you stormed into his house and how you, a student of Academy, fondled his manhood?”

“To be laughed at by his superiors?” Chin’era laughed, “No. He will stay silent.”

“And he will remember.” Vanasher said, reminding the alchemist of that fact. “A man’s pride is finite, and you have just shamed him in front of several females.”

“Then leave if you fear the child’s reckoning.” Chin’era dared, knowing Vanasher would not retreat, and Sorie would not retreat.

Chin’era had broken through the mystery. She and her blunt behaviour had lead the mages into Jessy’s home, and her crudity allowed them to know what was inside. True there was not a lot in here but that was secondary.

They had discovered that Jessy had a magic mirror, that he had an outhouse, that he had food, and that his people were rich. Some of them had even discovered that Jessy had fondness for girls with big breasts and images of naked women, which wasn’t that surprising to anyone.

Vanasher crossed her arms, the damage was done and she could only watch the destruction. “Please tell me you have a plan that doesn’t involve threatening to castrate the boy if he does not give you what you want.”

The way she said this indicated that if Chin’era did not have an adequate plan ready, nobody would ever find the alchemist’s body.

“Please.” Chin’era said reassuringly, “I am not some uncouth barbarian.”

Several minutes later Jessy came out of the outhouse, fully dressed and still looking disappointed that he had not concluded his business with Bancroft.

Sorie remained a silent but glaring presence. It was not that she held feeling for this child, it was that she felt that she had been over taken by a gutter whore. That nagging feeling that uneducated she-elf, who would spread her legs for a giant toad if it had the coin, had beaten her in some way.

Jessy sat in his strange leather throne and appraised Chin’era. “I can’t just give you the metal. Techscope is a business.”

Chin’era smiled and spoke softly her voice sounding almost musical, as she spoke the alchemist waved two fingers in the air, “Can’t you just give me a little mithril?”

The hairs on Sorie’s neck stood on end. The Silth stayed perfectly still, holding their breath. Though they could not feel it, they could all see and hear the tell-tale signs of the charm spell.

Jessy stared dumbly at the Silth who had just tried to magically dominate him, “Did you just try to Jedi mind rub me? Wait. Did you just call the aluminium, mithril? Like, Tolkien mithril?”

Neither Sorie nor the other educated Silth knew what a Jedi was, but it appeared as if Chin’era had fumbled her charm spell.

Alchemists had a generally low life span when compared to most other professions, including poison tasters. Getting blown half way to the moon was considered an occupational hazard when playing with highly volatile ingredients,

It was an easy thing to have survive to graduate the Alchemists course.

Vanasher herself normally jested that you either had to be luck, immortal, or smart enough to get some trainee to milk the sleeping dragon.

As it was pretty obvious to everyone that Chin’era wasn’t highly intelligent, or lucky, or immortal for that matter; the scared alchemist had decided to display her remorsefulness and quick thinking.

“You can fondle me boobies.” Chin’era said and not a moment later grimaced at hearing her own words.

“What?” Jessy said.

“What?” All the other Silth in the room said in unison.

Unable to turn back, Chin’era swallowed and spoke softly. “Give me the Mith… The metal you gave Sorie, and you touch these.” The alchemist nodded to her less than impressive chest.

Jessy looked sceptical, and he glanced at the female mages as if expecting at any moment to hear the cruel laughter of a dozen she-elves.

Vanasher stepped forward and put her arm around Chin’era in a friendly manner, “Yes. Chin’era has already spoiled your fun for tonight. Allow her to compensate your loss in exchange for a few pieces of some curious metal.”

“Just whatever you have lying around.” Chin’era said as if it were normal for boys just starting puberty, to have highly precious metal just festering under their beds.

She smiled then and it was a horrid thing. Even before the loss of her hair and eyebrows, Chin’era had a grotesque smile. There was just something wrong with it, a disconcerting feature.

Sorie thought that she just looked bat shit insane.

Jessy, however, was not looking at Chin’era’s face and so wasn’t put off.


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